Your sister’s line about time not being wasteable lands even harder against the backdrop of your own “perform, achieve, repeat” conditioning; it feels like a quiet revolution in one sentence.
I love how you let the camera roll testify against the “wasted years,” revealing a life dense with dogs, sunsets, Paris, garage game nights, and the kind of small, ordinary devotion that actually makes nostalgia possible.
That closing reframing of a life well spent as one you’ll someday be glad to remember feels like a gentler metric high‑achievers and overlooked siblings alike can finally breathe inside.
I’m crying! Thank you for reading and sharing your thought. This piece just came to me out of such an otherwise ordinary moment. It’s so beautiful to see how many people have read and related to it already.
That actually brings up a really great point! It can be so comforting to have physical "receipts" as a reminder of what you've done to live an enjoyable and meaningful life. Even the little things that make life special are worth celebrating.
i loved this so much. hearing this perspective really spoke to me as someone who hasn’t done much since graduating college and has felt like i’ve wasted so much time. but, if i look back at the time between now and then, it’s filled with beautiful memories i would never want to lose.
I’d like to give you one big massive hug from one older sister to another! P sounds like a wonderful woman, and so do you. You and P’s diverging ways of handling your wounds are both equally wonderful, and in my opinion, shows the differing ways strength can look like. Thank you for sharing!
"who the actual F am I?” - The question that has been in my mind for years. Every moment, every decision, everything I tried, I experimented with, it all brought me here. I could think did I just waste 384 days before I started the company that had been in my head the day after I quit my dad's business. I could think, what would all that time have brought me? But I don't. Because all the things I tried, all the things I discovered, it brought me here. Time is never wasted, and yes, the old me would've thought that too.
I appreciate your sharing here, Sanne! It’s so true, we often don’t know where we’re going and why we waited so long to go there but it was all vital to the process of becoming who you are today 🩷
i’m an oldest daughter learning to put aside perfectionism & family expectations. for a while, it was expected that i’d be going to nursing school and pursuing a healthcare career, because that’s what was seen as safe and responsible. but late last year, i quit my healthcare career after almost 4 years and will no longer be pursuing a nursing degree. i’m following my dreams instead, and even though nursing wasn’t what i wanted i don’t think that time was wasted. i deeply believe that things unfold when they do for a reason, and that the time before was preparing you & growing you in ways you couldn’t fully see yet. life is so complex that way, and that’s what makes it beautiful. your sister P sounds amazing and inspiring, and i’m glad you two have each other! thank you for sharing this beautiful & heartfelt piece 🥹💗
Oh thank you thank you for sharing Allison! I am proud of you and inspired by your decision to follow your heart, I truly believe it will not lead us astray.
P is amazing and inspiring and one of the greatest gifts life has given me!
"My room growing up and my apartments as an adult have always looked like a Pinterest post, lovely but impersonal. Curated for someone else's benefit." That line unlocks the whole essay. The contrast between you and P isn't just personality - it's two different survival strategies for the same wound.
Great to have your voice on Substack, June. I have subscribed and look forward to reading more. I would love you to do the same, if my writing resonates.
I felt this so deeply, not because I have a sister in the same way that you do, but rather, because I've always been painfully conscious of time; really loved this & it came at quite a timing for me (i got some bad news yesterday)
A classic tale of two sisters (eldest daughter and recovering perfectionist as well). It's crazy how we grow up so different yet share the same wounds 🖤
Truly remarkable! But that’s the beauty of sharing on Substack so far, connecting with people over an experience you thought you were alone in. Only to find out so many people feel the same way!
What a gorgeous piece of writing. Thank you so much for sharing with me~ I can relate on so many levels but I am the younger half sister by six years. I am the one who had the pink room and wrote in the hello kitty diary. Although, both of us have had different versions of being a perfectionist, 'good girl' and people pleaser. Such a lovely trio! Keep writing June!
Oh my gosh this is such a beautiful piece! I can resonate but in a way that I am both you and P. I was P until my 20s. When my 30s came until now, I am you. My best friend is always saying “What happened to you? You always didn’t care what people say.”
It’s difficult being the eldest. Most especially now that Mom is gone so I have to be responsible. I get you.
I love the message you gave for the fellow eldest and the youngest. It’s a sweet message. And also, your picture with P is so cute! 💕
Oldest daughter and fellow recovering perfectionist here. Wow. I have tears. 💜
You are so seen, Kendall. Thanks for reading 🤍
Your sister’s line about time not being wasteable lands even harder against the backdrop of your own “perform, achieve, repeat” conditioning; it feels like a quiet revolution in one sentence.
I love how you let the camera roll testify against the “wasted years,” revealing a life dense with dogs, sunsets, Paris, garage game nights, and the kind of small, ordinary devotion that actually makes nostalgia possible.
That closing reframing of a life well spent as one you’ll someday be glad to remember feels like a gentler metric high‑achievers and overlooked siblings alike can finally breathe inside.
I’m crying! Thank you for reading and sharing your thought. This piece just came to me out of such an otherwise ordinary moment. It’s so beautiful to see how many people have read and related to it already.
Thank you!!!
Thank for writing such a wonderful piece
That actually brings up a really great point! It can be so comforting to have physical "receipts" as a reminder of what you've done to live an enjoyable and meaningful life. Even the little things that make life special are worth celebrating.
such a beautiful read. it really resonated as a fellow perfectionist 💌 thank you for sharing your story
Aw thank you so much Sophie, that means so so much to me!
i loved this so much. hearing this perspective really spoke to me as someone who hasn’t done much since graduating college and has felt like i’ve wasted so much time. but, if i look back at the time between now and then, it’s filled with beautiful memories i would never want to lose.
this warmed my heart, it’s a good reminder for us all 🫶
I’d like to give you one big massive hug from one older sister to another! P sounds like a wonderful woman, and so do you. You and P’s diverging ways of handling your wounds are both equally wonderful, and in my opinion, shows the differing ways strength can look like. Thank you for sharing!
awwww Yannah, I will pass that hug along to P!!
"who the actual F am I?” - The question that has been in my mind for years. Every moment, every decision, everything I tried, I experimented with, it all brought me here. I could think did I just waste 384 days before I started the company that had been in my head the day after I quit my dad's business. I could think, what would all that time have brought me? But I don't. Because all the things I tried, all the things I discovered, it brought me here. Time is never wasted, and yes, the old me would've thought that too.
I appreciate your sharing here, Sanne! It’s so true, we often don’t know where we’re going and why we waited so long to go there but it was all vital to the process of becoming who you are today 🩷
i’m an oldest daughter learning to put aside perfectionism & family expectations. for a while, it was expected that i’d be going to nursing school and pursuing a healthcare career, because that’s what was seen as safe and responsible. but late last year, i quit my healthcare career after almost 4 years and will no longer be pursuing a nursing degree. i’m following my dreams instead, and even though nursing wasn’t what i wanted i don’t think that time was wasted. i deeply believe that things unfold when they do for a reason, and that the time before was preparing you & growing you in ways you couldn’t fully see yet. life is so complex that way, and that’s what makes it beautiful. your sister P sounds amazing and inspiring, and i’m glad you two have each other! thank you for sharing this beautiful & heartfelt piece 🥹💗
Oh thank you thank you for sharing Allison! I am proud of you and inspired by your decision to follow your heart, I truly believe it will not lead us astray.
P is amazing and inspiring and one of the greatest gifts life has given me!
aww thank you 🥺🫶🏽💞
"My room growing up and my apartments as an adult have always looked like a Pinterest post, lovely but impersonal. Curated for someone else's benefit." That line unlocks the whole essay. The contrast between you and P isn't just personality - it's two different survival strategies for the same wound.
Great to have your voice on Substack, June. I have subscribed and look forward to reading more. I would love you to do the same, if my writing resonates.
Thank you for this kind reflection on my piece, I’m grateful to have you here 🩷
I felt this so deeply, not because I have a sister in the same way that you do, but rather, because I've always been painfully conscious of time; really loved this & it came at quite a timing for me (i got some bad news yesterday)
Sending you so much love from across cyberspace 🩷
A classic tale of two sisters (eldest daughter and recovering perfectionist as well). It's crazy how we grow up so different yet share the same wounds 🖤
Truly remarkable! But that’s the beauty of sharing on Substack so far, connecting with people over an experience you thought you were alone in. Only to find out so many people feel the same way!
I agree- my thoughts exactly
A beautiful idea, and one I really needed today, thank you for sharing.
I’m honored to have you reading! Thank you, Caz!
It was a pleasure 🙏
this was beautifully executed
Thank you K that means the world!!
What a gorgeous piece of writing. Thank you so much for sharing with me~ I can relate on so many levels but I am the younger half sister by six years. I am the one who had the pink room and wrote in the hello kitty diary. Although, both of us have had different versions of being a perfectionist, 'good girl' and people pleaser. Such a lovely trio! Keep writing June!
Obsessed!! Thank you so so much for reading and relating!
June, read and read again. Really enjoyed your perspective, and the way you crafted this story. It's lovely and heartbreaking and sensitive and funny.
This was my favorite line ᥫ᭡١٥٧٤♡ ...
"Mostly, P just doesn’t toe any lines; she barrels across them with beautiful and reckless abandon."
Hehe P is my inspiration!! So glad you enjoyed this, thank you for taking the time to leave this comment!!
I can see why. She sounds delightful. 🤗
Oh my gosh this is such a beautiful piece! I can resonate but in a way that I am both you and P. I was P until my 20s. When my 30s came until now, I am you. My best friend is always saying “What happened to you? You always didn’t care what people say.”
It’s difficult being the eldest. Most especially now that Mom is gone so I have to be responsible. I get you.
I love the message you gave for the fellow eldest and the youngest. It’s a sweet message. And also, your picture with P is so cute! 💕